Step 2 – Turning to God

Step 2: We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Galatians 6:7-8

For some, belief in God is the hardest part of the 12 steps. For me, belief has never been a problem. I don’t remember a time when I didn’t accept the existence of God. I believed, but I followed me.

This is really the addict’s primary problem. More than just dependency on chemicals, the addict’s problem is that he follows his own will above all. With drug addiction, this usually leads to painful consequences. It is in those consequences that the addict must realize his need to follow something far beyond himself. I have followed my way to disaster. Now, I must follow something else, or I’ll continue down my road of destruction.

Though the language may be nebulous – power greater than ourselves – I’ve clearly understood this to be God. There are those in AA who insist that this higher power can be whatever we want it to be. You can follow that doorknob if you want. But this is of course, nonsense. I once tried following the god of my invention – the god that just magically took away my addiction with no need for obedience on my part – and I got nowhere. Any higher power that I create is neither higher nor powerful and thus, cannot help me.

In my greatest life disaster, on my way to treatment, I had to ask myself where I had gone wrong. I prayed repeatedly for God to take away my addiction, but he hadn’t. I then read today’s passage and understood that even though I believed in God, I followed my own appetite and was simply reaping the consequences. I realized that if I wanted to reap the fruit of the new, sober life, that I desperately needed, not just to believe in God, but to daily follow his way.

For those of us with destructive appetites, our way leads to misery and insanity. Step two insists that if we want to live free from the disaster of ourselves, we must turn to a power greater than ourselves. The only adequate solution is God.