The Day Life Fell Apart

Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat? Genesis 3:11

I think I am not being too dramatic when I say that I can identify with Adam in today’s passage. When God asked him what he had done, Adam’s heart raced as he realized that he had just killed everything good in his life. The momentary pleasure of the forbidden gave way to the terror of facing God with the blood of the fruit still dripping from his lips.

In that moment Adam did what we all do. Facing God’s imminent and terrible retribution, he panicked and tried to evade responsibility. The woman made me do it! In his desperation and delusion, he attempted to betray Eve and fool God.

I know how Adam felt because I have been there. On a day that I remember all too well, when confronted with the terrible reality of my addiction, I responded similarly. I lied. I justified. I blamed. I did everything but accept responsibility. Accepting responsibility was of course, the only way out, but at that moment, the pain was too great.

In the end, neither Adam nor I could run from God. Try as we might, we had to accept that our choices had devastating consequences. Following our appetites above God always has repercussions.

It was only later, when I had nowhere left to turn, that I took the only real way out. Justifications and lies may sometimes allow me to avoid consequences temporarily, but they are not actually a way out. They just take me deeper into my disaster.

It was only in complete desperation that I accepted my responsibility and threw myself on God’s mercy. This is unfortunately, often what it takes to get me where I should have gone in the first place. God must take me to the end of myself to get me where I need to be.

Though I am thankful for how God worked through my disaster, I do not wish to repeat it, so daily, I must choose to deny self and follow Him.