Sore Winner

You say, “See, I have struck down Edom,” and your heart has lifted you up in boastfulness. But now stay at home. Why should you provoke trouble so that you fall, you and Judah with you? 2 Chronicles 25:19

I’ve often been frustrated that I seem to retain so many flaws. I’ll work on one defect, thinking I’ve finally got it under control, only to find two more that pop up to take its place. The thing I’ve realized however, is that my flaws keep me humbly dependent on God. If God removed all my flaws today, I’d become intolerably arrogant tomorrow. I’m not necessarily a sore loser. In the tough times, I do pretty well, usually turning to God for guidance. Rather, I’m a sore winner, not handling success very well.

This is where King Amaziah found himself in today’s passage, which tells of the aftermath of his military victory over the Edomites. The passage reports that Amaziah acted with great courage in the trial. Under threat of the enemy’s advance, he was obedient and trusted God to give him military victory. Once he was victorious though, his failures piled up rapidly. First, he brought home the enemy’s idols, offering sacrifices to them. Then, when confronted by a prophet over this outrage, Amaziah silenced the prophet. Finally, emboldened by his military victory, Amaziah picked a fight – for no reason – with the king of Israel. Amaziah was a sore winner, not handling success very well.

This, I think, is why God allows me to continue to struggle. The truth is, I always need God, but it is often only in my struggle that I’m cognizant of that need. When the struggle passes and I seem to be successful, I often become self-reliant, turning from God. I got this. I’m good now. So God allows me to continue to struggle. I may wish all my flaws were miraculously removed, but what if they were? As I said previously, if I were made perfect today I’d become intolerably arrogant tomorrow. So, I can accept that as long as I’m on this Earth, in this body, I’m going to have struggles. And as long as those struggles keep me dependent on God, that’s not the worst thing. I always need God and as long as I’m aware of that truth, I’m in a good place.