What Am I Afraid Of?

As soon as Asa heard these words, he took courage and put away the detestable idols from all the land of Judah . . . 2 Chronicles 15:8

I don’t often think of myself as fearful, and I don’t find that I’m frequently motivated by my fear. I do have a phobia of cows and horses, but thankfully, my life is largely insulated from such monsters. I must admit however, that in my active drug use, I did experience a lot of fear. First, I was continually afraid of discovery – What if everyone finds out? I spent a lot of time hiding my drug use and a lot of time worrying about what would happen if my behavior ever came to light. Second, I was also afraid of recovery because I knew how awful it was going to be to get sober. I was afraid of withdrawal, and I was afraid of all the changes I’d have to make. I knew the mountain of work that lay between me and sobriety, and I was afraid of it because I knew it was going to hurt. I didn’t want to confess or go to treatment. I didn’t want to attend recovery meetings. And I just wasn’t ready to be painfully honest with myself and the world. So, I lived in fear.

Radical change is painful and most of us, if we’re honest, live in fear of it. That is the lesson of today’s passage. In the story, God sent the prophet Azariah to King Asa, instructing him to repent, ridding his people of their idol worship so that they may turn and follow God. Asa had to know how dangerous and difficult this was going to be. To do as God asked meant defying the will of the people and taking away their idols. If the people rebelled, it could have cost Asa his throne and his life. God however, instructed Asa to take courage, promising that he’d be rewarded for his obedience. Though Asa knew change would be painful, he believed he’d come out better on the other side of change. So, he took courage, and he did as God asked.

So, what am I afraid of today? What changes do I need to make in life that I know are going to be a lot of work? Change is hard and I fear the pain of transformation, but I don’t want to remain stuck in the old life, and I don’t want to live in fear of change. Today then, like Asa, I must take courage and embrace the hard work of getting rid of the old life so that I may enjoy the new one. If I believe God, then I must believe life will be better on the other side of the discomfort and I must do what it takes to get there. Like Asa, I must take courage.