What’s in a Name?

Therefore on that day Gideon was called Jerubbaal, that is to say, “Let Baal contend against him,” because he broke down his altar. Judges 6:32

When my addiction came to light and as word began to spread, I wanted to run and hide. I strongly considered moving eight states away as the thought of a fresh start – where no one new my name – was profoundly attractive. I knew that from that day forward, everyone would associate my name with drug addiction. That’s just who Dr. Abrams was destined to be. So, I wanted to go where Dr. Abrams meant something else, or maybe just abandon the name altogether. I was like a little kid who wanted to make up a cool nickname for himself – Gunner – hoping that everyone would see me as someone else. If I couldn’t change my name though, I wanted to control what others thought when they said my name. The time for that however, had passed. I had created an identity that I hated, and everyone knew exactly who I was.

Today’s passage speaks to this issue of name and identity. In it, Gideon was called by God to deliver his people from their idol worship and from their oppressors, the Midianites. Gideon’s first task was to destroy his own father’s altar to Baal, and after this event, he was called Jerubbaal, a name which identified him as an enemy of Baal. Previously, the community knew Gideon as a lowly son of a poor farming family. As his actions created a new identity though, he was given a bold, provocative nickname. Living as a humble farmer, Gideon was defined by one set of behaviors. As he obeyed God, transforming into a mighty warrior, he became defined by a completely new set of behaviors. Gideon didn’t pick a new macho nickname and then demand that everyone call him that. Instead, he just lived differently, changing his identity and earning his new name.

That has been the process of recovery – living a completely different life, being someone new. Thankfully, I realized early on in recovery that moving away or changing my name wasn’t going to help. Wherever I went or whatever I called myself, I’d take my addiction with me. If I wanted to change what Dr. Abrams meant, I had to redefine myself with a completely different set of behaviors. Strangely, I don’t now spend a lot of time thinking about what others think of me. If I had to guess though, I’d say that others, when they hear my name, absolutely remember my addiction, but that they also now know me now for my faith, my recovery, and my work in addiction medicine. I’m thankful for that, but I didn’t get here by changing my name. I got here by following God, allowing him to change my entire life.