Karens of the World

And when the people of Israel heard of it, the whole assembly of the people of Israel gathered at Shiloh to make war against them. Joshua 22:12

A few years ago, my son tried to explain the phenomenon of internet Karen memes to me. If you’re unfamiliar, Karen is an internet slang term for a middle-aged white upper-class woman who is entitled or excessively demanding. I didn’t know that, and so, my son was trying to explain how annoying Karens were. Unbeknownst to my son was the fact that in our community we have a population of Karen people – a distinct ethnic group from Myanmar and Thailand. As he was talking about annoying Karens (meaning the entitled woman), I thought he was being derogatory about Karens (the ethnic group). In our miscommunication, I got angry. I hadn’t raised him to be racist. He tried to explain he wasn’t being racist but, in my anger, I’d stopped listening and started ranting. Finally, my wife stepped in and explained that perhaps we were talking about two different things. We had a good laugh about it and my anger dissipated.

I’m normally a fairly decisive person. I don’t spend a lot of time waffling over decisions. I think about a thing. I make a choice. And I go with it. This works well for me most of the time. As soon as anger is introduced into my brain though, my decision-making capability is drastically altered. Once I get angry, I become incapable of listening to anyone. I’m right and you’re wrong. In this state of mind, I don’t think about the consequences of my toxic words and actions.

Today’s passage illustrates the potential destruction that can stem from anger and lack of communication. In the story, as the Israelites conquered and settled the land of Canaan, three of Israel’s 12 tribes settled on the eastern side of the Jordan river, where they built a large altar. For whatever reason, the rest of Israel interpreted this as an altar to pagan idols and, in their outrage, gathered their armies to attack. First though, they sent an emissary, who discovered that the altar was simply a memorial meant to symbolize their worship of God. The miscommunication was cleared up and the army went home without killing anyone.

Anger is a drug that intoxicates my mind, rendering me incapable of listening. In my anger, I don’t consider any other point of view, as I say things that I’ll later wish I hadn’t. The lesson of today’s passage (and the lesson of the two Karens), is that before I indulge in my anger, I should seek to understand. Often, in listening, I’ll save myself the embarrassment of an apology later, as I recognize that my anger wasn’t quite as righteous as I thought it was.