There’s Always a Choice

For this commandment that I command you today is not too hard for you, neither is it far off. . . But the word is very near you. It is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can do it. Deuteronomy 30:11-14

Once we’ve rewarded ourselves repeatedly with any pleasurable behavior, we remodel our brains so that the behavior becomes compulsory – it’s just what we automatically do. That’s addiction, and even though the behavior may have painful consequences, we continue to do it anyway. At that point, there’s no longer a choice to be made as we find that we can’t not behave that way. Alcoholics Anonymous refers to this as powerlessness. Step One: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol.

In my own addiction, I used this powerlessness as an excuse. But I’m addicted. I can’t not do it. This is just who I am. I gave myself permission to lie, cheat, and steal because I was addicted – I simply couldn’t help it. Powerlessness, as defined by AA though, doesn’t mean that there’s nothing we can do and that we’re destined for a life of addiction and self-destruction. There’s always a choice. The diabetic may not be able to control whether he has the disease or not, but he can choose to treat it. Likewise, I may not have been able to control my pathologic appetite for opioids, but I alone had the ability to choose to get help or not. There’s always a choice.

That’s the message of today’s passage. In it, God spoke to the Israelites through Moses, who told them that obedience was always within their reach. Yes, God’s expectations were high – they were to follow him in everything they did – but obedience wasn’t impossible. Daily, they had a choice to make. They could follow themselves to destruction or they could follow God into the new life of the promised land. There’s always a choice.

When faced with some temptation, I like to tell myself that it’s simply my nature. I can’t not overeat. I can’t not be angry. The truth though, is that the healthy right choice isn’t impossible. Even if I’m addicted, I can still choose to address my addiction. Yes, treating an addiction may be terribly disruptive to my life, but it’s not impossible and it’s my responsibility alone to do it. In my desperate need, I must go to God, asking what it is that I must do. Then, no matter how painful it is, I must do what he asks. The powerlessness of addiction means that my self-destructive behavior has become compulsory, but it doesn’t mean that I can’t choose to do something about it. There’s always a choice.