The Curse of Success

There was a man of Benjamin whose name was Kish . . . And he had a son whose name was Saul, a handsome young man. There was not a man among the people of Israel more handsome than he. From his shoulders upward he was taller than any of the people. 1 Samuel 9:1-2

Yesterday started out to be one of those perfect days. With the morning off, I slept in, blogged, and sat in my favorite chair while my wife and I drank our morning coffee (tea for her). I was just about to head to the gym for a CrossFit competition, when my day fell apart. Within about 30 seconds, I got several text messages indicating that multiple different crises were developing around me. Though I wasn’t directly affected, these events disrupted my day and required my involvement. As I began to process the predicaments, I prayed for those affected and for myself, asking for wisdom to handle the events graciously. The turmoil of the day caused me to turn to God, depending on him in a way that I would not have if my day had gone as planned.

If I’d had my way, none of those trials would have happened. I’d have simply gone to the gym, won my competition, and lived happily ever after. The good life to me means that I experience success in everything. In this perfect vision of my life, I’m good looking, financially successful, popular, well-respected, and nothing bad ever happens. The problem with my version of success, is that in it, I’m self-sufficient and fail to rely on God. I know because I’ve been there. When life has gone as planned, I simply haven’t seen my need for God and have naturally drifted towards following myself, which eventually led to the disaster of my addiction.

As it turns out, the world’s version of success may be a curse. This is the lesson of today’s passage. In it, Israel demanded that Samuel give them a king, whom they imagined to be tall, strong, and handsome. So, Samuel went out and found such a man in Saul. Saul was everything that the Israelites could have asked for, but his natural gifts led to self-sufficiency and self-centeredness. In the end, Saul followed himself above God, leading his people to calamity.

God created me to live in a dependent relationship with him. To live by faith means to daily recognize my need and to follow God’s will above my own. When my life goes exactly as planned however, I’m tempted by self-sufficiency and blinded to my need for him. Recovery then, has meant daily choosing to see my need for God, daily remaining dependent on him. The truth is I always need God. Whether I see that or not, is up to me.