Hot!

Then the redeemer said, “I cannot redeem it for myself, lest I impair my own inheritance. Take my right of redemption yourself, for I cannot redeem it.” Ruth 4:6

My son’s first word wasn’t “Mommy” or “Daddy”, but “Hot”. When he was a toddler, we had a wood burning stove, which he really wanted to touch. Knowing he wasn’t supposed to touch it made him want it even more. We had to keep an eye on him, continually telling him, “No. Hot.” Eventually though, after intervening countless times, I realized he had to learn on his own. So, when the stove wasn’t too hot but was still uncomfortable to touch, I let him go. He kept his hand on the stove for a second and then suddenly pulled back, looked at me in shock, and said, “Hot!” It was his first word and a learning moment. Don’t touch the stove. It’s hot. Hot hurts. We never had to keep him away from the stove again. Though he was just a toddler, his little brain learned that this impulsive desire led to pain. If he ever had the desire to touch it again, he reflexively remembered the discomfort. Even then, he was learning to think things through.

Actions have consequences and part of maturing is learning to consider those consequences. Where will this lead? This is a normal part of our brain’s development, but unfortunately, this is a function of the brain that’s damaged in drug use. With drug use, the brain is rewarded with pleasure. Even if there is some negative consequence, the primitive part of our brain remembers the reward, forgetting the pain. At first, the higher part of the brain speaks up. Maybe we shouldn’t do that. It’s not healthy. Last time it hurt afterwards. With repeated indulgence though, that higher part of the brain is silenced and the primitive part of the brain assumes control. This is addiction, when the impulsive part of our brain takes over and all safeguards are removed. In this condition, there’s no more considering the future. There is only right now.

Think it through. That’s the lesson of today’s passage. In the story, Boaz wanted to marry the widow Ruth, but according to custom, there was another man who had first rights to her land and her hand in marriage. So, Boaz went to this man, informing him of the situation. This other man wanted the land, but when he realized that he’d have to marry Ruth too, he thought it through. No. I can’t commit to that. That would hurt my own family.

When faced with any impulsive desire, we must learn to think things through. Where will this lead? Refusal to do so, damages our brains and leads to addiction. Thankfully, recovery is possible. In recovery our brain begins to heal, starting over, like my toddler son, learning to weigh the consequences.