What If, No Parents?

In those days there was no king in Israel. Everyone did what was right in his own eyes. Judges 17:6

I’ve often said that drug use hasn’t been my primary life problem. Drugs have just the most obvious manifestation of my primary problem which is this – I do what I want. This has always been an issue for me. Even as a child, I can remember chaffing against the rules of my parents. I remember thinking, When I grow up, I might make mistakes, but at least I’ll be choosing for myself. No one will tell me what to do. I saw other kids whose parents didn’t enforce a lot of rules, and I was jealous. I wanted no rules. What I couldn’t see at the time, was that my parent’s rules were born out of love. They knew that, for my own good, I needed boundaries. Can you imagine a child growing up with no guidance whatsoever? Children do not inherently make good, healthy choices.

This is the scenario described in today’s passage. In it, we read that Israel had no leader, no guiding force, and so, everyone simply did what was right in his or her own eyes. This may sound like freedom, but it was chaos. Like children with no parents, the Israelites had no rules and so, they just did whatever they wanted, inviting self-destruction and civil war.

God created us to live our best lives when we follow his will. We, however, have a choice. We can live as his children, surrendering our right to do as we please. Or we can live independently, following our own will. It isn’t natural though, for us to voluntarily submit ourselves to authority. It’s our nature to seek satisfaction in doing whatever we want. So, we pursue fulfillment in money, status, food, sex, career, shopping, or chemicals. I know what will make me happy. But, like children, we don’t know what’s good for us, which we discover as we find that all our pursuits lead to emptiness.

In my drug addiction, I followed me. Recovery then, has meant following something outside of me – a higher power. I have inherently self-destructive appetites that lead to misery. I make bad choices. So, I must submit myself to God’s will. He created me to experience a life of joy and peace, but paradoxically, I find that life only when I surrender my right to follow me. As a child, I couldn’t see that boundaries were born out of love – my parents wanted what was best for me. As an adult, I’m tempted to make the same mistake. My drug addiction though, has taught me that even though I’ve grown up, I still need guidance.