Cycle of Misery

But when the people of Israel cried out to the LORD, the LORD raised up a deliverer for the people of Israel, who saved them . . . Judges 3:9

My addiction was an endless cycle of drug use, leading to misery, leading to some significant attempt to stop, leading to life improvement. Once life got better, I stopped doing the things that led me to change and returned to my normal way of life. My normal way of life inevitably led back to drug use though. Then, I’d start the entire cycle over again for the hundredth time. It was a never-ending repetition of misery and self-destruction. Though I’m not using drugs now, I still see this cycle in my life when it comes to any discipline. I’ll eat poorly, feel terrible, initiate change, and in changing, I’ll experience some success. After success though, I just go back the old life, putting the weight back on, finding myself frustrated once again. It’s as if I’m incapable of learning the lesson, destined to repeat the same cycle of misery over and over.

This is the story of the Israelites. Today’s passage tells us of how the Israelites wandered from God, experienced painful consequences, repented, and were restored to God. Then, in their success, they returned to their idols. In abandoning God, they’d self-destruct, experiencing the entire cycle all over again.

As I’ve mentioned previously, my father is a pastor, and I grew up hearing these stories. Even as a child, I found myself frustrated with the Israelites. How could you be so dumb? Why would you keep doing the same thing over and over? When will you learn your lesson?

It’s easy to see when someone else is doing it. It’s often also easy to see what someone else must to do to break the cycle. It’s more difficult to see it in ourselves though. Sitting with a group of guys yesterday, I mentioned my poor eating patterns and realized that I must sound like a broken record, repeating the same painful cycle every few months.

I know how to break the cycle. I know it can be done. I’ve done it with drugs. Daily, I must make a genuine attempt to abandon my way to follow God’s. Then I must daily put in the work required to abandon the old life, seeking the new one. Then – and this is the hard part that requires the most work and discipline – I must continue that behavior until it simply becomes a way of life. If I desire to stop the cycle of destruction, I can never return to the old life, because the old life is what made me miserable in the first place.