I Don’t Want to Be the Only One Drinking

Why will you discourage the heart of the people of Israel from going over into the land that the LORD has given them? Numbers 32:7

Back when I drank alcohol, I had no qualms about drinking alone, in secrecy. If I was with others though, in a fishing boat for example, I didn’t want to be the only one drinking. So, when fishing with friends, I’d encourage them to drink too. I recognized that I was developing unhealthy patterns with alcohol which were magnified if I was the only one drinking. It made me feel better about my own consumption if others drank with me. So, I’d encourage friends to imbibe. Come one. Have a drink. For me, alcohol was becoming a self-destructive behavior, and I compounded my failure by persuading others to fail with me.

In recovery now, I’m learning the significance of my influence – and other’s influence on me. Alcoholics Anonymous relies heavily on the power of peer support. Those who’ve been addicted and have found recovery, are the best equipped to help those still struggling. Weekly for years now, I’ve gotten together with others who’ve struggled as I have so that we may encourage each other to continue seeking our faith and recovery. We understand that we can encourage or discourage each other, so we purposefully take time every week to push each other in the right direction.

This power of peer influence is illustrated in today’s passage. In the story, as the Israelites prepared to cross the Jordan River into the Promise Land, some of God’s people hung back, wanting to stay put. Moses chastised them, pointing out the effect that their hesitancy would have on those around them. Why will you discourage the heart of the people? Moses knew that if some refused to follow God, others would begin to doubt too.

I often say that I’m not responsible for the behavior of others, and this is true. I can’t have faith, and I can’t recover for anyone else. Their choices are their own. I am, however, responsible for the influence I have on them. If, in my own failures, I encourage others to fail with me, then I’m at fault for being a bad influence. Thankfully, the opposite is true as well. If, in my faith and recovery, I encourage others to seek the same, then I’m credited for that. Whether I like it or not, I influence those around me, and they influence me. I may not be solely responsible for the behavior of others, but I am absolutely responsible for the nature of the influence I exert on those around me.