Can I Wreck God’s Plan for My Life?

None of the men who have seen my glory and my signs that I did in Egypt and in the wilderness, and yet have put me to the test these ten times and have not obeyed my voice, shall see the land that I swore to give to their fathers. Numbers 14:22-23

There was a time when I believed I was incapable of certain failures. Like a newlywed couple who believes they’ll never fall out of love or get divorced, there was a time when I simply knew that I’d never struggle with addiction. This confidence was partly the naivety of youth, but it also had to do with my faith. I believed God had a plan for my life and his plan certainly didn’t involve drug addiction. I simply assumed that believing in God meant that I couldn’t fail big. So, when I did fail big, it seemed unreal. God, I thought you had a plan for me!

Now, looking back, seeing all the good that’s come of my addiction and subsequent recovery, it’s still tempting to see my addiction as God’s plan. God certainly allowed me to be born with certain self-destructive appetites that eventually led to my addiction. So, was it God’s plan all along that I lose my job due to my addiction? There’s a danger here. This line of thinking is one small step away from blaming God – thereby excusing myself – for my toxic behavior. When I think of the lying, cheating, and stealing (sin) that I engaged in though, I cannot believe that God desired that I do those things. Sin, by definition, is rebelling against God’s will. God never asks me to commit evil for him.

Today’s passage sheds some light on this question – Can I screw up God’s will for my life? In the story, God led his people out of Egyptian slavery to the Promised Land. Along the way however, the people repeatedly rebelled against God. Finally, God had enough and told Moses that it would now take a generation for his people to get to the Promised Land. This ensured that those who rebelled would die in the wilderness, never seeing the land of Canaan. God’s overall plan wasn’t thwarted – the Israelites eventually got there – but those who rebelled missed out on God’s blessing.

I may be eternally forgiven, destined for heaven in the afterlife, but I can fail. Yes, God has a plan for my life and no, I can’t wreck God’s ultimate plan, but I can miss out on his blessings for me here and now. Thankfully, if I return to God, he can remake something beautiful of my mess.  If I desire to enjoy the blessings of God’s plan though, then daily, I must seek to live within his plan. Failure is always an option.