I, Me, My, Mine

I will break the pride of your power . . . Leviticus 16:19

I often think of pride at thinking a lot of myself. I’m a big deal. I’ve certainly been guilty of that, but pride is also simply thinking of myself a lot. This kind of pride is much more subtle. With this kind of pride, I don’t necessarily think that I’m better than anyone, but rather, I simply put my needs and wants above everything and everyone. I, me, my, mine. My life is all about me and what I desire. My addiction was the most obvious manifestation of this kind of thinking in which I sacrificed everything – faith, marriage, family, and career – just so I could do whatever I wanted.

Recovery then has meant that I must continually keep my pride in check. Being sober for several years, it’s easy for my ego to swell, thinking that I’m better than those who’re still struggling. Again though, the more subtle kind of pride is that I just naturally drift back to doing whatever I want, putting my own desires above all. So, daily, I must go to God, asking what he wants. In my relationship with my wife and kids, I must consider their needs. Pride puts me first and is antithetical to my faith and recovery. So, seeking faith and recovery means that I must daily reject my pride, humbly putting God and others first.

Today’s passage reinforces this. In the passage, God described what he planned to do to his people if they followed their own path instead of his. It’s a bit terrifying as God revealed how much he hates rebellious pride. God created man to follow God’s way. If, however, man followed man’s way, this would ignite God’s anger. In his wrath, God vowed to break his people of their pride, using pain to humble them.

I’ve been there – on the path of God’s discipline. I’ve put me first, following my way above all. In doing so, I found disaster. Angered by my rebellion, God painfully humbled me. In that disaster, you’d think I’d have learned my lesson, embracing humility for the rest of my life. Still though, I’m daily tempted to return to the path of I, me, my, and mine. If I desire to avoid going back to the misery of my pride though, then daily, I must point my life at God, seeking his will instead of my own. Pride points my life at me. Faith humbly points my life at God. God hates my pride, so daily, I must work at choosing faith, following him above all.