Self-Will Run Riot

The tenth day of this seventh month is the Day of Atonement. Hold a sacred assembly and deny yourselves, and present a food offering to the Lord. Leviticus 23:27

When I was a kid, I loved food and so, I ate until I was stuffed. Predictably, I put on fat, becoming overweight. As an adult, I’ve had to learn that if I desire to not be overweight, I must do whatever it takes to deny my appetite. This is an ongoing struggle – denying my desire to consume that which is unhealthy for me. This isn’t just about food. This is a profound life problem.

Alcoholics anonymous describes the life of the addicted as self-will run riot. In my drug addiction, I became profoundly selfish, sacrificing the needs of everyone around me. I’ve often said that my primary problem in life hasn’t been drugs. Drugs were just the most obvious symptom. My greatest life problem has always been me. I simply do what I want, which is usually quite unhealthy – for me, for my faith, and for my relationships with those around me.

I’m not alone here. Selfishness is our greatest flaw as humans. We were created to follow God, but instead, we follow ourselves. It was self-will that caused Eve to eat the forbidden fruit, and it was self-will that caused me to destroy my life with drugs. Self-will turns us from the life God desires for us to the life we think we desire. Self-will promises gratification but delivers misery, robbing us of authentic life, joy, and peace. God made us to find new life in him, but self-will deceives us into thinking we can find our own way.

Today’s passage then, provides the answer to our life problem. In it, God instructed his people on the various days that they were to set aside, gathering to worship him. On the Day of Atonement, they were to deny themselves (fasting), offering food to God. They were to ignore their own appetite, seeking God and his will. In doing so, they pointed their lives at God, instead of themselves.

If we desire physical health, we must sacrifice the unhealthy eating and behaviors that we desire, engaging in healthy eating and behaviors. Likewise, if we desire spiritual and emotional health, we must make a practice of daily abandoning self-will to follow God’s will. Daily, we must go to God asking – What do I need to stop doing today? What do you want me to do today? If we desire the lives God created us for, we must daily pursue that life, which necessarily means denial of self-will. My way is disaster. God’s way is life.