And God sent an evil spirit between Abimelech and the leaders of Shechem, and the leaders of Shechem dealt treacherously with Abimelech . . . Judges 9:23
The chaos of my addiction made for a miserable life. Yes, the high of the drug provided immediate gratification, but the high wore off and then the misery set in. Withdrawal was unpleasant enough, but there was also the guilt, shame, paranoia, lying, and hiding. It was exhausting, making for a wretched existence. You’d think that the misery would have motivated me to get sober, but I knew that getting sober would be a tremendous amount of work. So, in my torment, I’d foolishly return to the only thing that I knew could make me feel better in that moment, going back to my drugs. My only solution at that point was simply more of my problem. I was like the alcoholic with a hangover, returning to the hair of the dog that bit me. The drug would numb my pain for a while, but then it would once again wear off, digging me deeper into my pit of despair.
This is where Abimelech found himself in today’s passage. In the story, Gideon’s son Abimelech, rose to power by murdering his brothers. In response to his treachery God sent an evil spirit between Abimelech and those who had aided his rise to power. For Abimelech, being king was nothing but conflict and chaos. In that misery, Abimelech should have repented and begged God’s forgiveness. Instead, though, he returned to the only thing he knew, using violence to cling to power. It was his violence that created the chaos in the first place, but in his despair, he returned to a solution that was just more of the same problem.
We often do this. We all have some unhealthy way of dealing with life’s stressors. We all have our release, whether it’s anger, resentment, food, gossip, sex, shopping, screen time, or a drug. We all have something. When we use that immediate gratification to address our stress, we often make things worse. Then, in our despair, we don’t abandon our bad behavior or address our stressors in a healthy manner as we should. Instead, we return to the hair of the dog, going back to the one thing we know that will make us feel better momentarily. This of course, only worsens our condition.
Immediate gratification, while providing a temporary release, is rarely constructive. If we truly desire to improve our lives, addressing our stressors in a healthy manner, we must turn to God, asking what he wants us to do with them. Then, we must do it, even though it’s the harder thing to do right now.