Return to the LORD your God, you and your children, and obey his voice in all that I command you today, with all your heart and with all your soul, then the LORD your God will restore your fortunes and have mercy on you . . . Deuteronomy 30:2-3
I’ve never liked the feeling of interpersonal conflict. As a child, I hated the sense of being in trouble with my parents. When I’d done something defiant, I avoided mom and dad. Then though, after some discipline, when it came time to reconcile, I embraced the feeling of relief that came with that reconciliation. While there was some schism between my parents and I, I experienced emotional distress and when the relationship was restored, I experienced emotional relief.
This has undoubtedly affected the way I view God and my relationship with him. In my drug addiction, or any time that I’ve turned from God, I’ve been aware of my schism with him. God has never abandoned me, but I’ve abandoned him and in doing so, I’ve felt the discomfort of that wound to the relationship. Still, there have been countless times in my life when I’ve decided I wanted something self-destructive despite the damage I knew it would do to my faith. When I go my own way, I know I’m defying God and so, I can’t look at him. In my disobedience, I willingly turn my back on him, purposefully injuring our relationship. In doing so, I’ve always made myself miserable eventually.
In Deuteronomy, Moses repeatedly warned God’s people of the consequences of their disobedience. Sin has consequences. God desired that his people follow him, and he made the world in such a way that turning from his will would mean inviting misery upon themselves.
Thankfully though, the opposite is also true. In my defiance of God, I may incur his discipline, but in returning to God, I have always found him to be full of mercy and love. I may walk a thousand steps away from him, but if I will simply turn around, I’ll find God is right there waiting with open arms. God can be a severe father, quick to discipline me. Or he can be a gracious, loving father, waiting to embrace me. The difference in which God I experience is determined by my posture towards him. I’ve spent years walking away from God, during which time he allowed me to discover the disaster of my way. He never gave up on me though, always beckoning me back. Return to me. You don’t have to live like this. If you’re tired of the misery of your way, come home.