And God came to Balaam at night and said to him, “If the men have come to call you, rise, go with them; but only do what I tell you.” Numbers 22:20
A couple of months after my knee replacement, I found myself at my follow-up appointment with my surgeon, asking what I could do. Can I squat heavy? Can I jump? Can I run? Finally, in exasperation, he said, (Sigh) Do whatever you want. I went home and told my wife that he’d given me the green light to resume all my usual CrossFit activities. She didn’t believe me, wanting to know exactly what he said. I explained and she understood his words very differently than I did. She heard him resigning himself to the fact that I was going to do what I wanted, regardless of his instruction.
Fine, do whatever you want. This was God’s tone in today’s passage.* In the story, the King of Moab, Balak, tried to bribe the prophet Balaam into cursing the Israelites. Balaam consulted God who told him not to curse them. So, Balaam refused Balak’s offer. Then, Balak sent a second envoy to Balaam, promising even more wealth and power. Balaam went back to God, once again asking if he could go. Taken by itself, today’s verse suggests that God changed his mind, allowing Balaam to go. A few verses later though, we read that God’s anger was kindled because he went (Numbers 22:22). It wasn’t obvious to me why God was angry, but other passages reveal the answer, describing Balaam as one who loved profiting from evil (2 Peter 2:15). God told Balaam no, but when offered more money and power, he went back to God like a greedy child. Can I please go? I really want to! To this, God sighed. Fine, do whatever you want.
Balaam took this as a green light and went. God wasn’t amused though, and sent an angel to kill Balaam if he continued down his rebellious path. God may have told Balaam he could go, but Balaam was about to pay a terrible price.
My unwillingness to listen to instruction may be amusing with my knee replacement, but this attitude has been a profound life problem. At my last relapse, I felt God telling me not to take those pills. Don’t do this. It’s going to hurt. Still, God let me go my way, allowing me to suffer the terrible consequences. The lesson now, is that just because God allows me to do something, that doesn’t mean I should. If I want to experience the life for which he created me, I must listen to him. My way is disaster. God’s way is life.
*Special thanks to my Dad, who helped me understand today’s passage, when I just wasn’t getting it.