Blessed be the LORD your God, who has delighted in you and set you on his throne as king for the LORD your God! Because your God loved Israel and would establish them forever, he has made you king over them, that you may execute justice and righteousness. 2 Chronicles 9:8
Growing up in an Evangelical tradition of Christianity, we placed a high emphasis on witnessing – the sharing of one’s faith with others. Christ’s final command to his disciples was to make disciples of all nations and so, as Christ’s representatives on Earth, Evangelicalism teaches that it’s our job to share our faith with those around us. Wanting to do my part (sort of) I wore a Christian t-shirt during my high school years, which displayed a Bible verse with a wrestling reference (Ephesians 6:12, if you want to look it up). I felt I was doing my part to point others to faith, and so, I prayed that God would make me a state champion. I thought that if I represented Christ, then the better I was, the better God looked, right? I’d get what I wanted (to be a state champion) and God would get what he wanted (more people pointed to him). I couldn’t imagine God not being on board with my plan. So, when God didn’t grant my request, I was left wondering why.
Today’s passage, I think, supported my plan. In the story, the queen of Sheba visited King Solomon and was so impressed by his wealth, wisdom, and success, that she expressed words of praise for God. As God’s representative on Earth, Solomon was such an effective king that other world leaders observed his achievements and believed in his God. It was a win-win for both God and Solomon as both got what they wanted, right?
This was all I wanted – not to be king, but to simply be a state wrestling champion for God. So why didn’t he answer my prayer? In the book of James, the brother of Jesus answered my question. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions (James 4:3). God, it seems, weighs our motives, and even though I pretended I had God’s interests in mind, my wrestling prayer was obviously more than a little self-serving.
This is the problem with a lot of my prayers. When I pray, it’s almost always for what I want. Even when I think I’m not being selfish – Heal my friend – my prayer is that God change the world as I see fit. I am, of course, supposed to take my requests to God, but I should also continually seek God’s will, not my own. I should always seek to pray as Christ prayed in the garden on the night before his crucifixion – Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done (Luke 22:42). And often, that is the hardest prayer of all.