Yet I will leave seven thousand in Israel, all the knees that have not bowed to Baal, and every mouth that has not kissed him. 1 Kings 19:18
If I were Satan, and I wanted you to wallow in failure and misery your entire life, leaving you spiritually bereft and ineffective, I’d make you think you were alone. I’d tell you that no one has done the terrible things you’ve done. I’d whisper to you that no one has had the horrible thoughts you’ve had. And I’d convince you that no one would ever love you if they knew the real you. You are nothing but a loser and if you tell anyone, they’ll leave you. Satan wants to isolate us, making us think we’re alone in our failures. He knows that while we live in shame and secrecy, we’ll never change. Unfortunately, that often feels all too true.
Alone and a failure. That, I think, is where Elijah found himself in today’s passage. In the story, he was on the run from Queen Jezebel, who wanted him dead. So, he hid in a cave, wishing he was dead. God came to him in a gentle voice, asking what he was doing there. Elijah told God how alone he was – It’s me against the world. God didn’t chastise Elijah, but rather, commanded him to get up and go. In his parting words, God hit Elijah with this truth – There were thousands of Israelites who followed God and who were on Elijah’s side. You are not alone. You were never alone. Go, find the others.
In my failures, I’ve isolated. I’ve fooled to those closest to me, hiding my true self from them. I’ve known if they saw the real me, they’d be repelled. So, I’ve wallowed in shame, lies, and secrecy. I felt like I was the worst person in the world and that I couldn’t tell anyone. Thankfully, I’ve always eventually had to tell others. That is terribly painful – no doubt about that. But in dragging my sin into the light, I’ve also been able to find others who’ve struggled as I’ve had. In being honest, I can finally not be alone, and I can finally end my terrible cycle of self-destructive behavior.
If we’re struggling, the temptation is to hide our sin. In hiding our failures though, we remain trapped in them. It is only in being honest with others who’ve struggled as we’ve had, that we can find transformation, grace, and friendship. You are not alone. You were never alone.