Then he was afraid, and he arose and ran for his life . . . 1 Kings 19:3
Recently, I attempted to compliment my wife when my words came out wrong. You look beautiful. What’s different? She always looks beautiful of course, but something was different. I shouldn’t have connected the two thoughts though, making it sound like it was unusual that she looked good. My wife laughed, pretending to be offended and my daughter, who overheard, was authentically offended for her. Sigh. Even after 26 years of marriage, I still create unnecessary interpersonal conflict in our marriage. You’d think I’d have it figured out by now.
I have, of course, said and done far worse in my marriage. I only tell that story because it’s an amusing example of how I still stumble, getting marriage wrong. The truth is, I’m still petty, immature, prideful, and self-centered. Even after 26 years of marriage and even after a lifetime of claiming to follow God, I still have my struggles, and I still fail. That’s why I appreciate passages like today’s.
In today’s story, the prophet Elijah had just come off what was probably the biggest win of his career. He’d singlehandedly challenged 450 prophets of Baal to a contest, and he (or rather God) had put them to shame. When the people of Israel witnessed the power of God, they supported Elijah, putting those 450 false prophets to death. Elijah must have been riding high on his success. It must have felt like all his work was paying off and that Israel was going to finally repent and follow God. Good days were ahead. Then, however, reality came crashing down as Queen Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, promising that he’d be dead in 24 hours. Elijah panicked, running for his life.
Oddly, this story comforts me. It comforts me because it tells me that even someone like Elijah, who called down fire from heaven, still had his struggles. Though he was a man of God and though he had done great things, he still ran in fear. Even though his faith was heroic, when threatened, that faith still wavered. Elijah wasn’t perfect. Even Elijah had his struggles.
I am often frustrated by my persistent flaws. I’m still gluttonous. I still lust. I’m still prideful. You’d think that after all God has done for me, I’d have it all figured out by now. But I don’t. I still struggle and I still fail. So, yes, today’s story brings me comfort in knowing that no one is perfect. We all have our struggles – even a hero like Elijah.