After this thing Jeroboam did not turn from his evil way, but made priests for the high places again from among all the people. 1 Kings 13:33
Recently, my daughter and I travelled to Indiana for a CrossFit competition, which was the biggest stage on which I had yet participated. I was excited and nervous to do nine workouts over the three-day weekend which would test my strength and fitness. About one minute into the first workout though, I felt something pop in my back and had immediate pain and left leg weakness. I finished that first workout on adrenaline, but I then had a decision to make. My left leg weakness made it difficult to do the upcoming exercises and the pain was miserable. I assumed I had a pinched nerve, but was this time to tough it out or to throw in the towel? I did three more workouts, coming in nearly last in each one – embarrassing – but on Saturday, I dropped out of the competition. The pain made my decision for me.
In pondering today’s blog about pain, I had this thought. What if an angel had shown up at the competition and made me this offer? I’ll remove your pain but in exchange you’ll have leg weakness for the rest of your life. In that moment, caught up in the self-generated importance of that competition, I think I’d have been tempted. As it turned out, I needed the pain to tell me to stop. The pain told me that I was damaging my body. If the pain had been removed, I’m afraid I would have pushed on, trying to finish out the competition Sometimes I need my pain because the pain is trying to get me to change course before I cause further injury.
This is the lesson of today’s passage, in which King Jeroboam was visited by a prophet who chastised him for his idol worship. During the exchange, Jeroboam’s arm was struck by God as it shriveled and became useless. Immediately, Jeroboam asked the prophet to intervene. The prophet prayed and God relented, restoring Jeroboam’s arm. Here’s the problem – Jeroboam received healing, but he got the healing before he repented and so, he failed to change his ways. Today’s passage tells of how he continued in his idol worship, bringing destruction on his house. Jeroboam’s motivation to turn to God existed only as long as he was in physical discomfort. That pain was trying to tell him to change course and once the pain was gone, there was no further impetus to repent.
I saw this in my addiction. In my first few attempts to get sober, I had some small, painful consequences, but they always blew over and so, my behavior always just went back to normal. It wasn’t until I nearly lost everything that I became willing to change. It had to be made clear to me that if I continued down the road I was on that life was going to become unbearable. I needed the pain to change and if it had been removed prematurely, I would have just gone back to my old ways.
I don’t want to be like this. I want to follow God, not because of the pain if I don’t, but because I love him and because it’s the right thing to do. I’d like to become the kind of Christian who embraces continual change because that’s what Christ asked of me, not because I hurt myself when I don’t. When I wander from God, I need my pain to turn me back. I’d like however, to find out what it’s like not to wander in the first place.