And the king answered the people harshly, and forsaking the counsel that the old men had given him . . . 1 Kings 12:13
In my first official attempt at recovery, I attended outpatient treatment where I met the old, grizzled counselor who ran the program. I liked him, respected him, and listened to what he had to say . . . mostly. As my time in outpatient treatment began to wind down though, he wanted to talk about relapse prevention and my final assignment was to outline my own plan to prevent a relapse. I knew what I was supposed to say – That t I’d continue to meet with my sponsor, go to meetings, and continue working on my recovery.
For the rest of my life? He said, yes, if I wanted to stay sober, I’d have to continue working on it, one day at a time. I thought that was absurd and told him so. I knew I wasn’t going to get addicted again. I’d learned my lesson, and I wasn’t coming back. He just sat back and smiled a sad, knowing smile. When we said goodbye for the final time, I felt like he expected to see me again soon. What a fool, I thought. I’m never coming back here.
True to my word, I never went back to that outpatient treatment facility, but only because I was too ashamed to admit my relapse to him. I’d like to say that I learned my lesson, but my second attempt at outpatient treatment and recovery, looked a lot like the first. I even had another old, grizzled veteran counselor, who told me the same ridiculous stuff about working on recovery for the rest of my life. Sadly, I didn’t listen to him either. It wasn’t until my third time around, after I’d lost nearly everything, that I became willing to listen to those old fools.
Though we usually don’t, we should listen to those who’ve gone before us and who have experienced success. This is the message of today’s passage, in which Solomon’s son, Rehoboam, assumed the throne of Israel. Faced with a choice about how to treat his people, Rehoboam sought the counsel from the old wise men around him. He didn’t like their answer though, and so he sought the opinion of his younger peers, who gave him the answer he wanted. Rehoboam was a fool and paid the price for his folly.
Now, as I’m becoming more like that old counselor myself, I see my younger self in the foolish kids who don’t want to listen. I’m also reminded that I still need to humble myself enough to listen to the wise that have gone before me. I still require guiding counsel from time to time. If I don’t want to repeat the mistakes of my past, I must remain willing to listen to the wisdom of those God has put in my life, even if – especially if – they’re older than me.