Shimei arose and saddled a donkey and went to Gath to Achish to seek his servants. Shimei went and brought his servants from Gath. 1 Kings 2:40
Whenever I meet those who’ve done well in recovery and then relapsed, I ask them to describe how it happened. I think it’s important for them to analyze and recognize what went wrong, but I want to know too. I want to know how and why someone who’s experienced years of recovery fell back into the old life. The details are different, but the basic structure of the story is usually the same. Life was going well but then they got complacent. They let a few little things slide and then something happened that gave them a little push – a breakup, the loss of a job, or some unpredicted stressor popped up and they remembered the temporary relief of the old drug. They suddenly had some personal reason to need the drug. Frighteningly, the old lies and diseased thinking returned immediately. No big deal. I deserve this. I can get away with it. No consequences. I won’t get addicted this time. I’m different now. Just one can’t hurt. And so, they indulge, just once. But it isn’t just once because a switch has been flipped. A door has been opened. The relapse has begun and it’s going to hurt.
Though it doesn’t involve drugs, today’s passage describes a relapse of sorts. In the story, Solomon assumed the throne and brought a reckoning for those who had rebelled against his father, King David. One of those who’d been treasonous was a man named Shimei who had cursed David when he was on the run from Absalom. Now, with Solomon securely on the throne, Solomon could have put Shimei to death, but instead gave him the equivalent of house arrest, demanding that he move to Jerusalem, never leaving. Shimei, thankful to be alive, graciously agreed to Solomon’s terms and for three years, enjoyed his life in Jerusalem. He had a good life, but then two of his servants ran away. Suddenly, he had a personal need to leave. I want my servants back. The passage doesn’t say it, but I can imagine his thoughts. No big deal. The king will understand. He’s probably forgotten all about it by now. I can get away with it. I deserve this. And so, Shimei left Jerusalem. He collected his servants, but when he returned, Solomon hadn’t forgotten and had him put to death.
Addiction is like a predator that we think is dead, which is instead lying patiently in wait, anticipating a weak moment. The problem of course, is that we will all encounter trials, during which we will remember the temporary relief of the old life. What then is our defense? Our defense is not to grow complacent, daily working on our recovery, daily demanding strict adherence to the truth so that we don’t embrace the old lies. If we want to remain in recovery, we must continually work at it. Yes, recovery is hard work, but the alternative is certainly no easier.