He poured it out to the LORD and said, “Far be it from me, O LORD, that I should do this. Shall I drink the blood of the men who went at the risk of their lives?” Therefore he would not drink it. 2 Samuel 23:16-17
I’m not proud of this, but I think my kids would say that I’m a food pusher. I’m honestly not sure why I do it. Maybe I just want my kids to be well fed. I assume it has something to do with my own unhealthy relationship with food. I feel satisfied when I’m overfull and I want my kids to feel the same way. Anyway, food pushing is an unhealthy behavior of which I’ve been on the other side as well. I’ve eaten desserts that I didn’t want to eat, simply because the host went to all that work, and I don’t want to make him or her feel bad. This, of course, is absurd. Why would I eat calories I don’t need or want? It would be far healthier if I simply learned to say, “no thank you”. I think I’m getting better at that, but still, I’ve got to learn not to be the food pusher myself.
Most of us have felt an obligation to engage in some activity because we don’t want to make the pusher feel bad. I’ve got to wonder if Kind David wrestled with this in today’s passage. In the story, he opined for water from a specific well that was behind enemy lines. Overhearing his desire, three of his bravest warriors risked their lives to get him a drink of that water. When they brought it to him, he had to feel some obligation to partake. They had, after all, gone to great risk to bring him what he wanted. Recognizing the foolishness of the endeavor though, David refused to indulge. David recognized that if he drank, he would legitimize and encourage a destructive behavior. So, even though he risked alienating his three best warriors, he refused to do it.
That which we tolerate, we encourage. Being sensitive to the feelings of others is a good thing. When however, we feel such an obligation to their feelings that we engage in self-destructive behavior, that’s terribly unhealthy. For our own sake, we must become comfortable with saying, “No. I’m not doing that.” If we permit a behavior, we promote it. So, like David, if we don’t want to encourage destructive behavior or participate in it ourselves, we must decide that we’re comfortable with saying no – even if it hurts someone else’s feelings.