When one rules justly over men, ruling in the fear of God, he dawns on them like the morning light, like the sun shining forth on a cloudless morning . . . 2 Samuel 23:3-4
As I’ve previously mentioned, the first 30 minutes of my day are spent drinking my coffee while praying. When the weather allows, I prefer to sit under the stars, watching the sky during this time. Summer is great for stargazing, in the sense that it’s always warm enough to be outside, but it isn’t easy to get up early enough. On a normal weekday, I get up at 4AM, which in June didn’t afford me much time to see the stars before it started to get light out. Back then, I had until maybe 4:20 to gaze at the stars before the coming sunrise spoiled the view. In my stargazing, I engage in behavior that is impossible to do in the sunlight.
There’s nothing morally corrupt about stargazing of course, but this is an apt metaphor for those behaviors that I prefer to keep in the dark. In today’s passage, King David declared that justice was like the light of dawn on a cloudless morning. As king, it was his job to deliver justice to his people, which, in today’s passage, was meant to be a welcome phenomenon. When I read the passage though, it occurred to me that not everyone loves the sunlight.
When I was using drugs, I hid my behavior and was terrified of discovery. When my addiction was eventually dragged into the light, it was terribly painful. Yes, in theory I wanted justice – when it benefited me. But I didn’t want justice to be applied to my addiction. For that, I wanted an exemption. For that, I wanted to remain in the dark.
In recovery now, this is a good measuring stick. Is this behavior something I want dragged into the light? Do I want justice to be applied here? Or is my behavior something I’d rather keep hidden? If I find myself questioning whether a behavior is right or wrong, it’s a good question to ask if I’d mind if everyone knew I was doing it. If I don’t want everyone to know, then it’s most likely something I shouldn’t be doing in the first place. I shouldn’t fear justice and I shouldn’t despise the coming of the dawn. If I don’t want to fear the light, then I must abandon all those behaviors upon which I don’t want it to shine.