Now there was a famine in the days of David for three years, year after year. And David sought the face of the LORD. And the LORD said, “There is bloodguilt on Saul and on his house, because he put the Gibeonites to death.” 2 Samuel 21:1
Step nine of the 12 steps says that I must make amends to those I’ve harmed in my addiction. To fail to do so means that I may live in perpetual conflict due to some injury I’ve caused and for which I’ve failed to take responsibility. This is a biblical concept and if I desire to enjoy the new life, I must be willing to make amends with those I’ve hurt. I’d say this process wasn’t as painful as I thought it would be – except when it came to those who’d also hurt me.
In my addiction, I behaved in an unkind manner to some who’d been unkind to me. The idea of making amends to those people offended my sensibilities. They must first apologize to me. Making amends though, often doesn’t occur without some sacrifice and often, the sacrifice is simply me surrendering my own pride and my right to be offended. Making amends isn’t a two-way street. Attempting to make amends is something I must try to do for my own emotional and spiritual health. Refusing to attempt amends then, while clinging to my pride and need to be right, is profoundly unhealthy.
Amends is necessary for our own good and often requires some sacrifice from us. That is the lesson of today’s passage, which tells of a three-year famine in Israel. King David inquired of God about the famine and discovered that God had caused it because of an ongoing debt to the Gibeonites, caused when Saul (the previous king) had killed some of them. The Bible doesn’t tell us much about the killing, but Israel had previously made a treaty with the Gibeonites and King Saul had broken it. Now, the unpaid debt made Israel sick, and if they wanted to be healthy, they had to make amends. It’s a terrible story, in which David had to give up seven descendants of Saul to be hanged. Amends required sacrifice.
Thankfully, for us, amends doesn’t usually require anyone to be hanged. Amends does frequently require sacrifice though. Often, that sacrifice is simply surrendering our pride and need to be right. When it comes to those whom we may not like very much, we may not want to make amends. Still, if we desire to know the life, joy, and peace of recovery, God says we must be willing to do what it takes to make things right. The other person may not forgive us and we may never reconcile, but at least we’ve done our part to act rightly, which is something we must always do for our own emotional and spiritual health.