Absalom sent secret messengers throughout all the tribes of Israel, saying, “As soon as you hear the sound of the trumpet, then say, ‘Absalom is king at Hebron!’” 2 Samuel 15:10
I’ve never consciously thought that I could do a better job than God and I’ve never really thought, I should be God. I have, however, questioned his will and thought, If I were in control, I’d do things differently. Sometimes I look at that which God allows to happen, and I just can’t see any reason for it. Still, in that moment, I don’t wish that I could be God. My insurrection is far more subtle. I call myself and Christian and I claim to follow God. But then I just do my own thing. I know that as a follower of Christ, I am supposed to seek and follow God’s will for my life, but my will clashes with God’s and so, I follow me instead – making myself the god of my life. In doing so, I look at God and I say, I know better.
I think Absalom must have felt something similar towards his father, King David. Next in line as King of Israel, Absalom couldn’t wait until his father died to assume the throne. He watched as King David wallowed in inaction, doing nothing when Amnon raped Tamar and doing nothing to rule over his people. Absalom witnessed his father’s impotence and thought, I could do better. So, Absalom plotted, and he planned. Then, when the time was right, he reached for the throne. Had he waited, the throne would have been his, but, burning with impatience, he had to take it now. In the end, he died for his treason.
Most of us never consciously think that we know better than God. We do, however, question him. We look at God’s will for our lives and we think we know better. So, we follow ourselves, doing whatever we want, making ourselves the god of our own lives. We know we’re supposed to abandon our way, follow God, and love our neighbor as ourselves, but that’s a lot of work. We really just want to make a nice, comfortable life for ourselves. So, we do things our way.
The problem for me, is that my way has led to disaster. I thought I knew what I wanted, and I thought I knew how to get it. I did not. I was very wrong. The challenge of recovery now, is to daily remind myself of this truth – I make bad decisions, and I make a very poor god. Daily, I must seek God and his will for my life. This isn’t always what I want, but it’s always what I need.