Uriah said to David, “The ark and Israel and Judah dwell in booths, and my lord Joab and the servants of my lord are camping in the open field. Shall I then go to my house, to eat and to drink and to lie with my wife? As you live, and as your soul lives, I will not do this thing.” 2 Samuel 11:11
At a company cultural training class recently, we had to identify our own leadership style from four options. Apparently, I like to be in charge, but I’m also pretty easy going. This means that I’m creative and have big ideas but that I lack organization and follow through. The leadership style that is complementary to mine – the one I’m supposed to lean on – is much better at organizing and making sure all the little details get done. It was emphasized that all styles get results, and that one style isn’t better than the others, but I found myself thinking condescending thoughts towards those weirdos who are super organized – What a bunch of nerds. When I thought about why I was mocking them in my head, all I came up with was that they were good at something that I was not. Because they possessed a virtue that I don’t have, it was far easier for me to make fun of them than to make any effort to work with them or to develop my own organizational skills.
When others display virtue where we display flaws, we naturally dislike those exhibiting the virtue because it exposes our flaws. This was the case in today’s passage, in which King David tried to cover up his impregnation of another man’s wife. After realizing Bathsheba was pregnant, David sent for Uriah, her husband, bringing him home from battle. David assumed Uriah would sleep with his wife and would then believe that the ensuing pregnancy was his own. Uriah however, refused to sleep at his home while his men were in battle. King David displayed lust, selfishness, and deception while Uriah displayed nobility and integrity – and David hated him for it. If Uriah had just gone home and slept with his wife, David would have let him live. Because he chose integrity though, David had to have him killed.
I don’t have the power King David had but still, I’m guilty of similar behavior – hating the good in others because it exposes my defects. When I was using drugs, I couldn’t stand being around anyone in recovery. In recovery myself now, I’ve had to learn a lot of opposite behaviors. So, now, instead of mocking those who possess virtues that I do not, I should learn to work with them, lean on them, and emulate them. Making fun of the good in others may make me feel temporarily better, but like any immediate gratification, it leaves me worse off in the end.