Did I not save you from the Egyptians and from the Amorites, from the Ammonites and from the Philistines? . . . Yet you have forsaken me and served other gods; therefore I will save you no more. Judges 10:11-13
A year or two ago, my wife and I committed to a new way of eating, making radical life changes, and were rewarded by significant weight loss. For months, we were faithful, daily tracking everything we ate, sticking to the plan. Honestly, I was surprised by how easy it was to remain disciplined. I remember though, about three months in, losing control one day. There was this bag of trail mix that had been tempting me, and one afternoon, I ate just one handful. Then . . . I ate the whole bag. A couple thousand calories later, I found that I regretted my choices. So, I vowed to return to my eating plan. And I did. But the next indulgence came just a few days later. After a few more months, I found that I was indulging in excess calories every evening, and the weight began to return. Once it had been easy to be disciplined, but after repeated infractions, it became harder and harder to stick to the plan. Each failure made the next failure easier and soon, I just couldn’t get back to the self-control that had once seemed so easy.
I found the same pattern in my drug use. The first time I tried to stop wasn’t all that hard. With repeated relapses though, each attempt at sobriety became more difficult. The more I failed, the easier failure was and the harder it was to get back to success.
It gets harder every time. This is the life principle illustrated in today’s passage. In the story, the Israelites wandered from God for what seems like the hundredth time. In their betrayal, God allowed them to be conquered by the Philistines. In their misery, God’s people once again cried out to him. Save us! God though, expressed frustration. How many times must I save you from the exact same thing? I’m not saving you anymore (my paraphrase). Repeated failure meant that eventually, the Israelites were simply going to remain stuck in their failure.
I’m not suggesting that God only forgives us a certain number of times. God always takes us back when we return to him. I am saying though, that it gets harder to return to him. The first time we repent, making radical changes, we will likely find radical success. When however, we repeatedly choose to return to the old life, authentic repentance becomes more difficult. We may tell ourselves that we’ll indulge just once and then repent, but just like my bag of trail mix, we’ll find that one failure invites many more.