Thus God returned the evil of Abimelech, which he committed against his father in killing his seventy brothers. Judges 9:56
As tragic as a drug overdose death is, a literal, physical life is hardly the only thing killed by an addiction. Several times lately, while sharing stories with those who’re addicted, I’ve heard them speak of the things they’ve destroyed while chasing the drug – relationships, marriages, families, careers, and reputations. The one who’s addicted doesn’t have to literally die to experience death, as he (or she) gradually kills everything good in his life.
Unfortunately, I know this from experience. As my own addiction grew to consume more and more of me, I invited a thousand little deaths into my own life. Perhaps the first casualty of my drug use was my faith. While I was using, I couldn’t look at God and so I abandoned that relationship. As I turned inward, becoming more selfish, I damaged my relationship with my wife. When she finally discovered my addiction, that put the final nail in the proverbial coffin of any trust she ever had in me. I also killed my career, losing my job and having my medical license suspended. I didn’t literally die from my drug use, but I did cause a tremendous amount of death and destruction.
This is the lesson of today’s passage. In it, Abimelech, who murdered his brothers to gain power, met his violent end. The author of Judges tells us that Abimelech’s death was a direct result of his violent life as God returned to him the evil he had wrought. His physical death though, was only the end of the curse. From the time he killed his brothers to make himself king, he knew nothing but conflict and chaos. Abimelech’s sin and treachery killed everything good in his life and his literal death was only the final one in a long series of deaths.
My addiction has taught me that my way is death and that God’s way is life. This isn’t just about drugs. This is about following me and my self-destructive appetite. In following me, I invite death into my life. When I indulge in lust, gluttony, resentment, anger, or greed, I kill that which I love most. Thankfully the opposite is true as well though. When I follow God, he breathes life into my destruction, resurrecting that which I’ve killed. In recovery, as I’ve learned to abandon my way for God’s, he’s revived my faith, my family, and my career. My way is death. God’s way is life. So today, and every day, if I enjoy the new life, I must do what it takes to kill my sin. Or it will be killing me.