But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15
Growing up, I loved watching that cartoon in which the coyote obsessively chased the roadrunner, only to fail repeatedly. It was entertaining because the coyote remained undeterred, even though his elaborate plans always ended in spectacular self-destruction. No matter how much pain he put himself through, the coyote just couldn’t help himself. It was simply his nature to pursue his prey, no matter the cost to himself. As an observer, the insanity was obvious, but to that coyote, he was just doing what he did.
This behavior is far less amusing when applied to real life. Working in addiction medicine, I often see my patients repeating the same self-destructive behavior patterns in ways that remind me of the coyote. I know it’s not going to end well, and I tell them so, but still, they can’t not pursue their appetite for that thing which anyone can see is going to destroy them.
Unfortunately, I’ve been there – repeating the same toxic behavior while hoping for a different outcome. I’ve repeatedly followed my impulsive nature for the thing I want right now, only to repeatedly make myself miserable. Anyone watching could see that I shouldn’t do it, but I do it anyway, later causing myself pain, shame, and regret.
Joshua must have seen this propensity in his people, because in today’s passage, he insisted that they contemplate their behavior and that they make purposeful choices. Think about where you want your lives to go. Then intentionally make your choices in a manner that will get you there. You can do what you want, but as for me, I’m going to pursue the life God intended (my paraphrase).
I may be sober today, but I still struggle daily with other coyote-like behaviors, following my impulsive nature only to find pain and misery. I may be good at identifying toxic behavior in others, but I often indulge mindlessly in my own flaws. So, lately, I’ve been practicing a discipline in my mind, asking myself if an impulse is from God or Scott. God thought or Scott thought? I’m afraid I’m not very good at it yet, but I don’t want to live impulsively, incidentally following my self-destructive nature. If I want the life God wants for me, I must live purposefully, making healthy choices. Today, I want to stop living like the coyote, mindlessly doing whatever it is that I do.