Fathers shall not be put to death because of their children, nor shall children be put to death because of their fathers. Each one shall be put to death for his own sin. Deuteronomy 24:16
As I often say, we drink or use drugs for a reason. All of us who’ve struggled with addiction started out consuming chemicals because the drug once did something for us. We used because the chemical provided relief, release, comfort, calm, pleasure, or confidence. Some of us were simply looking for gratification, while others were looking for escape from anxiety, PTSD, or childhood trauma. Whatever the reason, the chemical worked – until it wore off. Then, we repeated the behavior until we became addicted.
Working in addiction medicine, I often hear a patient say something like this – I only drink because of my anxiety. This patient hopes that in treating his anxiety, that his appetite for alcohol will dissolve. I don’t need to go to treatment. I just need to treat my anxiety. Addiction however, is a primary disease, meaning that even if I could resolve this patient’s anxiety completely, an addiction, once developed, still exists. The anxiety problem should be addressed, but ignoring the addiction, hoping it will just go away by treating the anxiety, is a fool’s errand.
Today’s passage alludes to this. In it, God insisted that everyone is responsible for their own behavior. When I was in treatment, I remember other patients “discovering” the cause of their addiction. In group therapy, they had the epiphany that they were using to address deep childhood wounds. This root cause analysis can be important as it may reveal other issues that need to be addressed (PTSD), but blaming one’s parents for an addiction isn’t terribly helpful. It doesn’t make the consequences of addiction go away and it certainly doesn’t make one sober.
Many of my patients have horrific back stories and their childhood trauma should be addressed. Knowing the history of the one who’s addicted certainly increases my sympathy towards that person. It does not however, alleviate that individual of responsibility. When the one addicted engages in self-destructive behavior, his father isn’t punished. Each of us is responsible for our own actions. We can try and blame others for our life problems, but as long as we do so, our lives will never improve, because we can’t change others, and we can’t change the past. If we desire to take control of our lives, improving our condition, we must accept that we are responsible for ourselves. If we’re addicted and want to be sober, then blaming someone or something else does us no good. If we desire recovery, then we must do whatever it takes to find it.