Is a lamp brought in to be put under a basket, or under a bed, and not on a stand? Mark 4:21
Time in the car is good thinking time for me, so yesterday, as I was driving into the cities, I found myself meditating on today’s passage about being a light to the world. I was going one way with it, when, as often happens, God had another plan . . .
I got behind a slow driver, which was annoying, but wasn’t a big deal, because a designated passing lane was approaching. When we got to the passing lane though, this driver sped up dramatically so I couldn’t pass – and then proceeded to slow down again as soon as we got back to a two-lane. This happened at the next passing lane as well. Truly frustrated, honking my horn, and muttering some choice words, at the third passing lane, I swerved to pass on the right side – the slow lane – when he swerved to cut me off! Quickly moving back into the left lane, I stomped on the accelerator, blowing by him while giving my worst scowl, which I hoped said, You’re a terrible driver and a horrible human being. I’m not sure he entirely comprehended the depth of my animosity, but I glared really hard. In the end, I got to the cities about 4 seconds ahead of him.
The entire interaction lasted the better part of an hour. After, I realized that I hadn’t been meditating on today’s blog. Rather, I’d spent an hour acting like a child throwing a tantrum.
In my drug addiction, I was a spoiled brat, doing everything my way. In recovery now, I’m supposed to be more mature. To allow God’s light to shine through me, it first has to shine in me. Recovery isn’t just about not using drugs. It’s about following God instead of me – in all things – even driving. If I want to be a light to others still struggling in the darkness of addiction, I need to live in recovery myself, choosing not to be derailed by silly, petty frustrations.
I was so angry about this stupid driver, that I allowed him to control my thoughts and actions, making me the one who was truly stupid. If I’d kept my eyes on God yesterday, I’d not have allowed this person to agitate me so. Once I calmed down, I realized how foolish I’d been, and that I had a new direction for today’s blog.