1 Peter 3:1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands…
I have not been looking forward to writing on this passage, as I honestly have had little idea what to say about it. I thought about explaining the biblical model for marriage or perhaps explaining how some cultural norms do not translate to today’s culture. In the end however, I just asked God what the passage was saying to me.
God reminded me that He rarely asks me tell others what they need to do. My blog and my quiet time in the morning are about my relationship with God and my defects. So, my title today is completely misleading (Sorry Barb, I know how anxiously you were awaiting my life advice). I am really not going to tell you all how to be good wives. I will however, tell you what I got out of it.
In this passage, Peter describes a situation in which a woman’s behavior results in the salvation of her own husband. He says in marriage, there is a greater good than getting my own way. If my plan in marriage (or in life) is to make sure I get mine, then I am going to be a miserable person. It is when I am completely focused on what Scott wants that I am the most easily frustrated. It is when I take my eyes off me and keep it on God’s will for me that I act rightly. I am the least loving to my wife when I am the most concerned with my own interests. Pursuing whatever I want makes for an unhappy marriage. I know from experience.
As I have said before, I often have to ask myself, what would a really mature loving husband do? My first impulse is usually to do whatever I want, but in looking to my wife’s needs first, I create a more loving relationship in which she in turn, can love me back. If I want a loving marriage, I need to look to the needs of my spouse before my own needs. As it turns out, looking to my spouse’s needs first is a little selfish, as it is the only way to get what I want out of marriage.
As in much of life, it is more important for me to focus on acting rightly than to focus on my own needs. If I set out to satisfy my desires above all, I will live in frustration and create a miserable marriage. If however, I choose to look to the needs of my wife first, I will act rightly and create a loving marriage.